


Cloaca

by pyropinkfish



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen, Hybrid AU, M/M, Massages, Rabbit!Ray, Wing Kink, bird!gavin, cat!Michael, jaguar!Ryan, lion!Jack, possibly a sequel if requested, snake!Geoff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 04:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3194933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyropinkfish/pseuds/pyropinkfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Michael!" He protested, feathers definitely ruffled in protest as Geoff's warming laughter echoed off the walls upon hearing the outrage Gavin cooed Michael's name. There was a "hehe bird vagina" somewhere in that laughter, only adding to Gavin's distress. "I don't have a vagina!" Gavin insisted while a few stray feathers fluttered to the floor.</p><p>"A cloaca." Ryan corrected, smirking at the house cat. Michael shot a grin right back at the jaguar. </p><p>--</p><p>In which Michael has to teach Gavin some Bird 101 because he doesn't even know how to preen himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cloaca

**Author's Note:**

> As I was editing this fanfic, my roommate was convinced I was working on a paper for class. I didn't have the guts to admit I was sinking an entire new level of fandom hell by writing my first ever real person fanfic with the people as hybrids, so she kept asking how it was going through the process and I could only just sorta squawk and shrug because how does "two guys turned into a cat and a bird making sex jokes at each other with touching one another in unsavory ways" equal the summary of the Spanish Inquisition? 
> 
> Regardless, this, as it was hinted at above, is my first fic for this kind of fandom, take it easy on hating me for any flaws. I don't (but am looking for) have a beta editor.

"Hey Gavvers, do you have a cloaca?" It was a quiet, boring day in the office, leaving the inhabitants to create their own entertainment. Not every day could be jam packed with so much fun, and due to that, Michael started to play around with Google, which soon turned into him googling up facts about the animals his coworkers were part of. 

Especially in the bird variety.

"A what?" Gavin replied, eyebrows knitting together in confusion as he turned towards the cat hybrid, his mouth pursing. 

"A cloaca." Michael repeated, biting back the giggling that was building up in his chest. It wasn’t even that funny, but Gavin’s ignorance made Michael feel giddy with the unfolding joke. 

"No... I don't know what that is?" The sandy brown bird shuffled, sitting more upright as he fluffed up the feathers of the wings on his back. A natural instinct to look impressive when his gut screamed he was about to be entirely humiliated by whatever the other brunette was snickering about.

"It's like a hole birds do it with." Ryan chimed in. While he was trying not to pay attention to their conversation, something about potentially teasing Gavin was too good to pass up on. 

"Like a vagina?" The answer Ryan provided didn't do much to clarify the confusion Gavin had, and it certainly didn't make the chuckling lighten up before Michael shook his head and began to paraphrase the paragraph he looked up from Wikipedia. His lips stretching into a predatory grin while he summed up what he felt were the important parts of the webpage. 

"Nah man, like rather than a dick, birds have this thing called a cloaca. It's a hole they use for pissing and sex and poopy stuff." 

" _Michael_!" Gavin protested, feathers definitely ruffled in protest as Geoff's warming laughter echoed off the walls upon hearing the outraged cry. There was a "hehe bird vagina" somewhere in that laughter, only adding to Gavin's distress. "I don't have a vagina!" Gavin insisted while a few stray feathers fluttered to the floor.

"A cloaca." Ryan corrected, smirking at the house cat. Michael shot a grin right back at the jaguar. Cats gotta stick together— even if Jack was currently not paying attention to gang up on Gavin with them.

Geoff leaned over to wrap an arm around the bird's shoulders, tugging him and his swivel chair next to him. The snake's tongue flicked, his grin so wide it hurt Michael's face just to look at it. "Hey buddy." He stressed the 'hey,’ making Gavin chirp quietly, a pout heavy on his lips. "You shoulda told us you had a three in one hole." 

“Hey, that’s like a par… shout out to 3D Mini Golf Adventures.” Ray’s comment made the rest of the office burst into another fit of laughter. 

"I don't have one!" Gavin’s voice cracked as he shoved away from the snake, huffing in his ever growing frustration. "Would you like me to prove it?" He added, eyes locked straight on to the house cat. Michael noted the flirtatious undertone, but didn't do anything about it. 

"Hey man, no need to pluck my eyes out, I'm just reading what it says on Wiki. Birds have cloacas, and you're a bird." He defended, hands raised while Geoff continued to laugh. Gavin pondered this for a moment, then scooted his chair closer to Michael's computer. He wasted no time to pull a new window up and after getting his hands swatted at, managed to type in his species of bird. 

When sparrows were confirmed to also have the mysterious sex organ Michael brought up, Gavin gaped at him. The cat didn't miss a beat to mock the Brit each time he "but uh I ah um"'d until the boy started to squawk in response. By then Michael was laughing too hard to keep up his antics.

" _Boi_. You're supposed to be nice to me!"

"Uh. Yeah no, dude. You seriously didn't know that your own species has a three in one vagina?" Michael finally toned down his laughter, and found himself looking up more random facts about birds, now especially sparrows thanks to Gavin's search.

"Well why would I bloody go about looking it up? I'm only a part of a bird." The other argued, turning back to his work. He casted a look to the snake beside him, hoping to earn some sympathy.

Of course, Geoff had none to offer. 

"Man, why not? That's your body." Michael questioned as Geoff gave the bird a lazy shrug before he agreed with the cat. Even he took the time to research up on his species. Hell, soon a consensus started, revealing Gavin was the only one who never bothered to google his breed. Half human or not, there was just some things that were strictly unique to being a hybrid that you should look into, they argued.

"What about when you molt? You never looked that shit up like 'hey why is this happening?'" Geoff asked, taking a turn in the newly sprung questionnaire being given to Gavin about his body and avian parts.

"No, I kinda figured it out on my own." Gavin confessed, feeling oddly insecure about his utter lack of knowledge on his own anatomy. Or even just the anatomy of the creatures he shared genetics with. It seemed like the others knew more than him about himself.

"Holy shit dude. How are you even like... alive? You're so stupid." Michael groaned, pressing his ears flat against his head. Having this dumb conversation wasn't as fun as it was when they just were laughing at Gavin's possible multipurpose bird vagina.

"What about you then? You know all about cats an' wot not?" He squawked, watching as Michael snorted.

"Yeah. I see in the dark, gotta sharpen my claws every now and then. Cat tongues are rough, etc, tail up is happy, ears down is pissed. Dude cats are like way less complicated than having big wings on your back. Besides, own a real cat. You pick up on shit fast." Michael explained, glancing at the two other cats in the office for agreement. Both of which agreed with various nods and little hums. Granted they were bigger cats, not some common household pet, but the same principles applied to general genetics they shared with their feline half. 

Realizing that the entire room was rightfully on Michael's side, Gavin whined pitifully. 

Geoff shook is head in a mock disappointment at the bird. "I seriously can't believe you never got curious enough to look shit up," he hummed, taking a swing of his drink before setting it down on his desk and putting his hands over his stomach. 

"Well, I never really cared about it. They're wings. I didn't even bother learning how to fly." Gavin confessed and right then everyone's jaw dropped. No one ever put much thought into it before, but the sudden realization they haven't seen Gavin Free fly when he had wings plenty big enough to carry his already extremely light body up in the air was astonishing.

"Dicks dude, you're a fuckin' wreck." The snake ended up laughing in disbelief. "We gotta get you some Bird 101 classes or some shit."

"Yeh? Maybe my boi Michael will teach me." Gavin sarcastically replied, "since he's so interested about birds." Michael hated to admit it, but challenge accepted. He was going to learn all that a bird hybrid needed to know and he was gonna teach Gavin about it. One way or another...

\--

The next few days went on normal, with Gavin wrongfully assuming that the issue of his ignorance was dropped. 

It was stupid anyway, so what if he didn't know the technical terms of his bird parts? He had wings. He knew broken feathers had to be plucked. He also knew they were big and gawky and always in the way. He knew his voice was parrot-y and made him cringe to hear it. He knew his toes were long and slightly discolored into talons. He knew that the sweat he leaked out of his wings was thick and gross and he hated it when it stained his sheets at night. He knew being a bird sucked, and that bigger prey loved pushing him around, like snakes, or dogs, or especially cats. 

So no, he never got curious. He never wanted to learn more about himself.

Unfortunately for him, Michael didn't back down, he was just preparing for his attack.

An attack that took place during lunch, where Gavin had taken it upon himself to sit himself on Geoff's lap. He sprawled out on his stomach on the snake's heavy tail, the rest of his limbs dangling off the couch uselessly as Geoff wrapped said tail around the bird loosely. Just tight enough to keep him secure. Though he wasn't even sure why he did bothered to keep Gavin from falling, considering the little dick was eating his food.

"You vulture!" Geoff cried out when Gavin stretched out just enough to take the bite of chicken off his fork when he was too busy chatting to Burnie to notice. Gavin grinned with triumph, easily ducking his head into Geoff's armpit to hide from an incoming head swat. 

“That’s like cannibalism anyway!” Geoff continued to swat at him. 

Gavin was so busy with Geoff, as their cuddling turned into rough housing (Geoff easily ending up pinning the boy to the other side of the couch with his tail so he could eat peacefully) that he didn't know Michael had entered the room until he heard his voice.

"Hey Bossman, can I borrow your footrest? Need him for a video." Gavin couldn't pin it, but he knew something wasn't quite right with Michael. He narrowed his eyes briefly, but turned into all smiles as he wiggled out of Geoff's grasp.

"Yeah yeah. I was getting tired of him anyway. He's your headache now." The snake replied with a passive shrug, taking another bite of his leftover lunch from last night's dinner.

Gavin pretended to be offended, squawking before he stole a quick peck to the cheek. "Geoffrey! You love me and you know it!" Geoff only arched an eyebrow and playfully shoved him into Michael, who stumbled back out of surprise with the sudden bird on him.

Michael spit a feather out and took the Brit by his arm. It didn't take long for them to return to the office, where he closed and locked the door after Gavin strolled in. Gavin didn't notice thanks to his utter lack of paying attention. Instead, he turned on his heels, smiling big at the cat while he tilted his head to ask a question.

"What video were—"

So quickly did Gavin realize he was being shoved at yet again. Only this time against the door (due to a lack of space really). Michael took a deep breath and used the weight he had on him to pin Gavin face first against the wood.

Rightfully startled and confused, Gavin let out a strangled cry, instinctively attempting to push himself off. However Michael moved quicker than he anticipated, and before he could say anything, there were hands buried in the unkempt feathers at the base of his wings and holy shit, that felt good. So bloody good.

"Michael?" He cooed, craning his neck to the side to look at what the cat was doing. Tongue out of the corner of his mouth, eyes slitted into concentration, Michael started to massage the skin between the feathers. He read about this, how to rub a bird for affection, and how to preen. Granted he was no pro, and it took hours to trim his claws so he wouldn't scratch Gavin up, but he didn't think he was doing to bad.

"Shut up, moron. I'm preening you." It was like, cats licking each other. Same community concept right? And hey, they were a community. It was just Michael didn't expect Gavin to be so vocal about his appreciation.

"God, it feels bloody amazing." He chirped and Michael had to suck another deep breath because holy shit, Gavin was a pretty bird. A pretty bird that let his wings fall open and droop with the attention. One that had his eyes closed in pleasure just because he was tugging on the feathers he had to triple check were the right feathers.

Soon they fell into a rhythm, Michael would massage, tug, and pluck at the feathers. A pile of broken and damaged feathers soon growing at their feet. Seriously, did Gavin even bother to reach the back ones? There was just so many that needed groomed, and so soon did Gavin start to realize that he didn't have that one irritating pain in his wing anymore. 

"Ever touch your oil glands?" Michael eventually purred, having finished the majority of Gavin's back feathers and was beginning on the ones at the top of the wings.

Gavin shook his head, which took some effort because at that point, he was like putty, riding on how warm and loved and praised he felt. It wasn't actually the first time he was preened, but your mother doing it before important social gatherings was a lot less gratifying than his lovely boi doing it.

"Alright, turn around." Michael instructed and god, Gavin had trouble pushing himself off the door to slump back against it, disheveled and content eyes locking on the cat and fuck man, Gavin had no right to look like he was riding on Cloud Nine.

Michael snorted at him and pressed his chest up against the bird's, feeling his heart flutter fast as he put his palms into the wings on each side. Gavin only let out a startled coo when Michael's palms dug into the walnut sized knobs he had on the insides of his wings. He squawked again when the glands shot pleasure down his core. His face certainly portrayed just how damn magical Michael felt for being able to turn Gavin into this sappy puddle of feathers and feel goods.

The thick oil that oozed from the glands was easily spread to coat the inside feathers, making them utterly shine in the afternoon sunlight. Michael had trouble remembering what he was supposed to do next just by hearing Gavin pant and coo under his hands.

"Hey, you guys gonna stop fucking and open the door?" Ray's voice tore them both out of his zone, making the cat groan at the thought of that fucking rabbit. It wasn't nearly as defeated as the noise Gavin made when Michael retracted his hands and shoved Gavin away to unlock the door. Except when he tried for the knob, his hands were too slick to get a grip enough to open the damn thing. Before he could utterly lose his shit at the situation, Gavin opened the door for him, and then proceeded to stumble to his chair, wings tucking close to him again and a dazed smile on his face. Michael ended up glaring at the other, just daring him to say anything as he stormed past him, discarded feathers on the floor disrupted and floating about. Michael walked past approaching gents, aiming to go straight to the bathroom and wash his hands.

Ray along with the confused men entered the office, taking their usual seating. Then the rabbit turned to Gavin and grinned at him. "You look like you had the best orgasm ever, what happened?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow when Gavin was startled into reality by squawking in horror.

"No no no, it wasn't like that!"

"I taste something like pine... and weirdly Gavin. What the fuck." Geoff commented more so to himself as he flicked his tongue in the air while Gavin slumped as far as his chair would allow him, face turning bright red when Michael strolled back in, hands in his hoodie pocket while he took his seat.

"What wasn't like what?" He asked, only knowing Gavin looked panicked. Which really was a funny sight, but when he was involved, it didn’t feel like it would end up being something good.

"Oh, just you two fucking." Ray explained, dodging the incoming toy tossed at his head.

"We weren't fucking. I was teaching him about his wings." Michael hissed, eyes rolling as he turned to face his monitor and start up his editing.

"Uh, yeah, and how did your student fair?" Jack snorted

"He failed." Michael declared without even missing a beat, eyes never leaving his screen, even when out of the corner of his eye, he could see how ruffled up Gavin got.

“Michael!” 

“Guess you’re gonna have to stay after class, Gavin.” Ryan sniggered, and suddenly Gavin was more feathers and bright red faced. 

“Not in the office, assholes. And you better pick up all the damn feathers.” Geoff hissed. 

“Hey, did you even figure out if he had the par-bird-vagina?” Ray added, arching an eyebrow in the duo’s general direction. 

“Seriously guys! I don’t have a vagina!” 

"A cloaca." Everyone instantly stated.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Holy shit, I seriously did not expect this to be so well received. I'm planning on a mini series with different Gavin centered ships. Requests welcomed for this. Also my tumblr is protectedbythepeacock, I'll take requests.


End file.
